What do you do when your 3 year old has begun to pray that you won't get mad at them anymore? And what do you do when you're nearing the end of the day and your 3 year old says, looking you right in the eyes, "mom, you need to have more good days." It makes me feel like a terrible mother, is what it does! I know I'm not (at least not all the time), but boy the guilt is being layered on pretty thick with this one.
Every day feels new with my 3 year old, because I've never had a 3 year old before! She's my first, so everything we do is a first. Sometimes that newness is exciting and I love to see her create and invent and tell the most amazing stories, but other days I simply feel overwhelmed by the newness of everything with her. She's growing and learning SO fast, and her understanding of things grows as well. How do I keep up? How do other moms do everything from housecleaning to individual time with multiple children and how ON EARTH do other mom's not yell and kick and scream to be heard?! Are your children just better listeners than mine, are you just experts in patience and I have yet to acquire any?
The other day I had a wonderful conversation with my own mother which led to some wonderful words of wisdom and thus followed a few very positive days with my daughter. Then the weekend hit, routine went out the window and I am back to square one, yelling, kicking and screaming my way into control. It's REALLY not working. I know there are mom's out there who are more experienced than I am and are just waiting to share their wisdom with me so I can be the nice and organized and fun mom, rather than the disorganized, mean mom that yells a lot.
Ugh. Here's praying for a better day tomorrow.
A Week of Concerts, Play, Funeral, and Mother's Day
6 months ago
6 comments:
I'm sorry you are having tough days. I wish I could help! Hope you have a better day tomorrow...
I am still waiting for those words of wisdom. I am screaming, kicking, yelling, trying to keep my nose above to water. Some days are great, some days are not. I just keep chugging along cuz the good days are really good. The few bits of gold from the wise ones let me hold one and see rays of sunshine. But they tell me, it just gets worse, they say, the younger years are the easiest. So enjoy them now. Which I know is no consolation. Pray, which is the first thing that always comes out of my mothers mouth. Have a one on one relationship with HF. Because having a 6 yr old, soon to be 7 4 yr old soon to be 5, and a 1 yr old. I tell ya, I am still in the sreaming to be heard, mean mommy stage. Good luck.
Well when you figure this out, you let me know! Boo has gotten so mouthy lately, she driving me crazy! I just thought it was because we have a baby on the way, but I guess not. That kind of makes me feel better that it might just be a phase. It's a good thing they are cute, every once in a while, or I might just get rid of her! ☺
Steph, it DOES get easier. I was the screamingest mom around. It made David (and me, and the kids) insane. I'm so much better almost all of the time, now. (Well, except for this weekend. Yikes.)
It took a lot of prayer, a lot of biting my tongue, and learning that if I go on a run most mornings, I'm a much nicer, calmer mother.
But it took a lot of years to get here. Luckily, three year olds don't remember us yelling. Ten year olds do. You've got a while... And you are a great and wonderful mother. None of us live up to the ideal, I've discovered. Most of us are just doing the best we can.
I'm so sorry! I know exactly what you're talking about. I have taken those moments with my kids to talk frankly with them about why I'm in a bad mood, apologize for screaming, and make it a teaching moment, asking them to apologize for not listening, or whatever. Talk about how all of you can make a better day tomorrow. (by her listening, you not screaming so much, etc). Relationships are a 2 way thing. And even the most patient among us will snap after dealing with day after day of frustrating non-listeners. good luck.
Hey, Steph! It is so fun to see your blog. So Fun to read about your adorable girls!!! First clue that you are a wonderful mother, the fact that you admit that you don't have all the answers. Personally, I spend a lot of time on my knees. Just when I think I have got something figured out, it is on to the next child and the next challenge, and then back to the things I thought I solved. So here is what keeps me going: prayer works, this too shall pass-it really may be a stage, and remember there are two people in this relationship. You can't take all the responsibility for the difficulties in the relationship. Kids come with their own personalities for sure. My mother in law raised 12 children and she always tells me that whatever makes you craziest with your toddler will be the strength that makes you the proudest when they are grown. Keep up the good work, your girls are adorable!
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